Friday, August 29, 2014

Relationship Advice from Becca and Dylan

Becca and Dylan, one of Storybook Lake's favorite couples is back to dole out relationship advice to some couples who have had an interesting go at life and love (and in some cases, death).

SBLT: Rachel Green
BECCA: Oh, girl. What the heck was wrong with Joey? Unlike Ross, Joey has never been married, he's hawt enough to melt steel, loyal like a puppy and he's a soap actor. But hey. Ross likes dinosaurs so that must mean he's perfect, right?

SBLT: Ann Bolyn
BECCA: Run. Run Fast! This guy's wack-o-meter is bouncing up like Forrest Gump's ping pong ball and some damn fool gave old Henry the power of the ax. A turtle neck just doesn't cover that kind of hurtin'.  Again, my advice is run, girl, run.

SBLT: Bonnie
BECCA: If you wanted a guy with money, check Wall Street, baby, not a get-away-car.

SBLT: Guinevere
BECCA: Okay, so Lancelot was a hottie, but his baggage won't fit in the overhead compartment. He's a wanderer. And yes, he was knighted and, in thanks, he turned around and stole you from the king thereby destroying the most magical non-alien realm in history. Clearly not thinking with his northerly brain and therefore, no one you want to bring home to Mom. Kick him to the curb, beg your king for forgiveness and restore Camelot.

SBLT: Yoko Ono
Becca: Sometimes a guy just needs some space to hang with his pals. Join a knitting group or a book club. Leave the music to the Fab Four. Otherwise, you're gonna end up hated internationally.

SBLT: Elizabeth of York
BECCA: Did you really think a guy who picked you up on the side of the road was going to be faithful? Seriously, did diseases not exist in medieval England? Get to the doc and get some antibiotics, baby, because he didn’t seem all that choosy in his friends with benefits.

SBLT: Juliet
Becca: Seriously. Was he the only boy in Verona? Join a club. Find some friends and, for the love of God, ditch the nurse.

SBLT: Joanie
BECCA: I have two words—hair extensions. Find someone to sew those bad boys in then put yourself out there and find a grown up with a real name. Can you imagine, in a moment of passion, screaming, “Oh, Chachi!” Every Chihuahua in ten states will be knocking at your door.

SBLT: Hillary
BECCA: Get your hearing aid checked, sister, because if the media was calling my husband “slick Willy” I wouldn’t think it was because he was oiling himself up for a few hours on the beach, okay? The media has better spies than the CIA and they aren’t afraid of using them. Pay attention.

SBLT: Scarlett
BECCA: Don’t put off till tomorrow the butt you can kick today. He doesn’t give a damn. Woo-hoo. Put a boot in his hiney and slam the door behind him. All those hot soldiers running around and he doesn’t give a damn? Put a little lip lock on one of those Yankee boys and see how his pistol fires. Just saying.

SBLT: Jane
BECCA: I can definitely get with the program of picking a hottie over a 5 star hotel, but I have to draw the line at living in a tree house in the jungle. Sure you can bring a bottle of OFF and take care of those flying insects for about a month maybe, but after that, there isn’t a WalMart just down the beaten path. The lions, not your friend. To them you are a luscious dinner. Walk away.

SBLT: Queen Victoria
BECCA: In all the land, on all the island, you couldn’t pick a hot young stud you weren’t related to? All that royal inbreeding is responsible for the pointy eared children of your future generations.

BECCA: Eight marriages? Does till death do us part mean nothing anymore? Find yourself a nice Farmboy and settle down. It worked for me.

SBLT: Ross
Dylan: Stop getting married.

SBLT: Chachi
DYLAN: Two words – Leather Tuscadero.

Dylan: You keep cutting off their heads, you’re gonna get a reputation that makes it hard to pick up women.

SBLT: Clyde
Dylan: Bank robbery is not a job with a secure future. Rethink it. Maybe try college, get a career.

SBLT: Lancelot
Dylan: Bros before, well, you know.

SBLT: John
Dylan: you keep letting your woman rule your world, you’re gonna lose your man card pretty quick. Let it be, pal.

SBLT: Rhett
DYLAN: Quickest way to lose your woman is to tell her you don’t give a damn. Check out the Dating for Dummies series.

SBLT: Tarzan
Dylan: Buy a suit. Girls really get into a guy in a suit. And stop talking to the animals like they are your best friends. People are starting to talk a little.

SBLT: Bill
DYLAN: At least offer to pay the girl’s cleaning bill. And FYI, that isn’t how you smoke a cigar.

SBLT: Edward IV
DYLAN: Seal the tower. Blockade it so no one can use it and stop trusting people. You killed to get the crown. Others will, too. And FYI, your wife might be part witch and could make some stuff start falling off. Think about it.

SBLT: Romeo
DYLAN: Find a malt shop. Make some memories.  Everything in life does not have to end in tragedy.

Monday, August 25, 2014



Dylan fought a Volkswagon for the last spot in the parking lot. "You could be a nice guy and let them park in the back of the truck bed." He'd washed the truck again and I looked around feeling over dressed in one of Grandma's custom dresses with a pair of 5 inch Loubitins shielding my toes. I'd expected our first date as a couple to be at a nice romantic restaurant shaped like a fork, but instead, we were in a parking lot at the edge of the woods.

He held my boots which had somehow lost all traces of the work I'd done mucking out the stalls that morning. "Put these on." He set them on the seat beside me.

"They clash with my dress." Well, they did.

"Suit yourself, princess, but it's a little hike to where we're headed and those"-he pointed to my feet-"are definitely not gonna work."

I snatched the boots off the bench seat and shot him a stink-eye. "Wow, you bring me to all the best places, farmboy."

He grinned his I'm-lovable-don't-be-mad-at-me grin and leaned over to plant a soft kiss on my cheek while I wrestled with the laces. "I promise, you won't be sorry."

"Okay, but if one person laughs at the way I'm dressed, you're gonna be digging a stiletto out of your colon."

A moment later, he helped me down out his truck and took my hand in his - the one not holding a blanket and picnic basket. It was a leisurely stroll underneath a canopy of trees. Tiny slivers of moonlight escaped through the branches while crickets chirped and wild animals rustled leaves all around us.   The night, maybe because it was our first real date, felt magical and suddenly, I didn't care where I was or what I was wearing. All that mattered was I walked beside Dylan.

We reached a clearing, or what would have been a clearing had it not been so packed with Storybook Lake townsfolk. Benches made of fallen trees sat in lines providing seating for the two hundred or so couples, parents with kids, and senior citizens who had all come out to be assaulted by mosquitoes and other small flying insects for God knew what reason.

Dylan spread one of the two blankets out onto the ground then motioned for me to sit. With the grace of a cheetah, he lowered his body next to mine and wrapped the second blanket around us, cocooning us together. With the only hand he had free, he flipped the basket open and extracted a bottle of sparkling cider and two wine glasses.

As he poured an old man all but pole vaulted onto the makeshift stage.

"Who is that guy?" I had a vague sense of deja vu.

"He's Nicodemus, a traveling storyteller. Why?"

"I feel like I know him."


The rest of Dylan's words were swallowed up by the little man on the stage. He was very small, with a long staff and a beard that even Bic wouldn't have been able to get through. “Circle in, ye lads and lasses,” he began. “I be a traveling bard. For a coin, I’ll share a tale.” I just had to love a guy who wasn't afraid to dress like one of Snow White's little friends. When the troll's hat made its way to us, Dylan dropped in a few bills and then passed it on.

It wasn't until the hat had gone full circle that the little old man began. "Once upon a time..." I lost myself in his words, the retelling of a tale I'd heard before, but never with such verve and majesty. When he was finished, the crowd erupted into applause, begging for more, wishing for a way to remain spun in the story he told.

I looked over at Dylan whose self-satisfied smile lit up his face. "Okay. You win. This was better than dinner or a movie."

He turned his body to face mine. "Becca, I brought you here because I wanted you to believe in fairy tales and happily ever after, because I do and you're mine, my happily ever after." His kiss was soft and gentle, just enough to let me know it happened.

Yep. This was the best first date in the history of first dates.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Welcome Wagon Interview Part 2

Welcome Wagon Interview Part 2

Our interview resumed after Becca was called away on a goose emergency and so we chatted with Dylan about relationships, meeting Becca and his own family.

 WW: How did you meet Becca?
Dylan: I picked her up from the airport when she first came to town.

WW: First Impressions?
Dylan: I thought she wore ridiculous shoes to go live out at Mable’s.

WW: What drew you to Becca?
Dylan: It’s not just one thing. It’s all the little things. But the minute I knew I wanted to see her again was during a snowball fight when she told me I threw like a girl. She looked so free, so happy. She made me want that.

WW: How long have you lived in SBL?
Dylan: A few months. I moved here from Battlecry Texas where my family lives.

WW: How big is your family?
Dylan: I have three brothers, Max, Ryan and Jace and a baby sister, Lily. Don’t worry, they come to visit.

WW: What brought you to SBL? 
Dylan: I went through a bad break-up and I wanted to get away.

WW: What was the most memorable thing Becca ever said to you?
Dylan: That she was holding Godzilla’s salad for and I was in striking range.

WW: What is the worst date you have ever been on?
Dylan: That would be back in Texas. My mom set me up with a girl who thought she was a magician. We were at a very nice restaurant and she tried to pull the tablecloth off the table while our food was sitting on top. She’d ordered spaghetti.

Friday, August 22, 2014


Storybook Lake’s Welcome Wagon sat down this week with our newest residents, Dylan Laugherty and Rebecca Heller, for a quick get-to-know-them chat.

WW: If you could pick any song soundtrack for your first meeting, what would it be?
Dylan: Rich Girl by Hall & Oates
Becca: The theme to the cartoon Go Speedracer

WW: And for your first date?
Dylan: Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade
Becca: Little Less Conversation – Elvis

WW: And the best break-up song?
Dylan: Well, the one that summed up my last relationship was You’re so Vain by Carly Simon or maybe Foolish Games by Jewel.
Becca: Don’t Go Away Mad (Just go away) by Motley Crue.

WW: What movie best describes you in a relationship?
Dylan: What dreams May Come… I would go to hell and back for someone I love.
Becca:  The Notebook. I want to be with someone through everything no matter what and I wouldn’t want to live without them.

WW: What is your favorite thing about Storybook Lake?
Dylan: The friends I’ve made here are the best friends I’ve ever had.
Becca: The friends I’ve made and Friday night stories in the woods with Nicodemus.

WW:  What Friends character best describes Becca?
Dylan: Definitely Rachel.

WW: What Friends character best describes Dylan? 
Becca: Joey for his confidence, Chandler for his bad pick-up lines and Monica because Dylan is a neat freak.

WW: Describe Becca’s personality with one word.  
Dylan: Determined
WW: Describe Dylan’s personality with one word.
Becca: Confident.

WW: What was the first thing you noticed about Becca?
Dylan: Her shoes

WW: What was the first thing you noticed about Dylan?
Becca: Flannel.

WW: What are three things you would take with you to a desert island?
Dylan: A book on how to channel electricity through a coconut. A radio. And Becca.
Becca: My shoes, my grandma’s fried chicken recipe since it’s cooked over an open fire, and Dylan.

WW: If a Genie appeared and offered you three wishes, what would you wish for?
Dylan: Time, more specifically, an eternity to spend with Becca. And then I would hold my other two wishes back because I already have everything I ever wanted.
Becca: Shoes, time alone with Dylan on that desert island and ice cream that wouldn’t make me fat.

WW: Well, that’s all the questions I have for today. Come back next week when we pick up where we’ve left off and begin another round of Getting to Know You!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Why Dylan Laugherty is better than…

Joey Tribiani – Dylan is a blond. Joey is not.  Dylan is a one-girl kind of guy. Joey has a different girl every night.  Did I mention, Dylan is a blonde?

Jack Dawson – Jack stole a girl from her fiancĂ©. Dylan picks his up at the airport.  Jack dies. Dylan lives Happily Ever After!

Dr. McDreamy  With hair like that, McDreamy’s product budget has to be huge. Dylan has a personal hair stylist and silky soft wash and go hair.

THOR – Aliens want to fight Thor using mystical outer space weapons. Dylan’s biggest problem is fighting off his screechy ex-girlfriend.

Charlie Harper – Charlie gets drunk and tries to mail his pants to Inspected by Number 94. Dylan gets drunk and confessed his deepest, innermost secrets

Indiana Jones – Indiana Jones was named after a dog. Dylan was named after Bob Dylan.

The Terminator – The Terminator will “be right back.” Dylan just arrived and never plans to leave.

Rocky Balboa – Rocky fought Apollo Creed, Ivan Draggo, Clubber Lang, Mason Dixon and Tommy Gunn for sport. Dylan was a former FBI agent who fights the bad guys because it is the right thing to do.

Batman – Batman has a cool car with a weapon system, jet engine and strong armored body shield. Dylan has a pick-up truck with an air mattress.

Superman – Superman wears tights and a cape. Dylan wears Levis and boots. Yummy.

Ferris Bueller – Ferris lip synced to the Beatles and Wayne Newton. Dylan hums Bon Jovi songs. *sigh*

Freddie Kruger – Freddie was a knife fingered haunter of bad dreams. Dylan is classified as a dream guy in at least 3 states.

Frodo Baggins – Mr. Frodo had hairy feet and pointed ears. Dylan has ripped abs and kissable lips.

Marty McFly – Wears Calvin Klein underwear. Dylan has been known to go “commando.”

JR Ewing – Made his money in the oil fields. Dylan made his money in a gas station.

Magnum P.I. – Lived on an island in Hawaii. Dylan lives in Storybook Lake!

Yoda – Yoda is a Jedi master. Dylan is a kissing god and a clothing Houdini!

Macgyver – Mac could build a bomb with chewing gum, a paperclip and a light bulb. Dylan built an entire guest room with an air pump and a pick-up truck.

William Shakespeare – Shakespeare spoke Elizabethan. Dylan speaks with a sexy, slow southern drawl.

Captain Jack Sparrow – Captain Jack didn’t get the girl. Do I really need to draw that picture???

Santa Claus – Santa gives presents one day a year. Dylan is unwrappable 24/7 - 365!


               Al Bundy

               Any star of Jackass

                Russell Dunbar

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Oh, it's that time...

Oh, it’s that time… book release is scheduled, cover is amazing and now off to market I go. There are a hundred different avenues I need to go down, and yet I sit in front of my computer (the best purchase I have ever made) and stare at Twitter and Facebook like they are written in French. Ugh. And I look at YouTube like it is some religious deity, watching video after video trailer for books I am dying to read. And still, I got nothin’. And a whole lot of it.

My book is written. That’s the hard part, right? Nope. The hard part is selling it, convincing my loyal friends and people I’ve never met that what I have to say is worthy enough to part them from their hard earned dollars. But how? Is a book trailer enough? Repeated posts on FB and Twitter tweets galore? A website? Blurbs? Do I harass folks for reviews I am not wealthy enough to afford? Hmm.

To be successful, I am going to have to pull out all the stops. Harassment, bombardment, wheedling and begging. Yep. I’m going with my strengths. But first, a shameless plug for my publisher and my book (you know, in case someone wants to know what the book is about and where to get it!).

Decadent Publishing put out a call for fairytales. It sounded amazing! Heck yeah! So I contacted them at and requested my fairytale. The Goose Girl at the Pond. Huh? I know/knew of five fairy tales – the tried and true princesses which have graced every little girl’s wish list. Who the heck was this goose girl and why, oh why, was her name not Cinderella?

Yet, that was my task. So I wrote it. And I wrote the crap out of it. I gave her a name and a lifestyle to which she had grown accustomed – the life of a wealthy girl who lived off her parents until a bottle of forty year old, single malt Scotch and her father’s Porsche get into an altercation and take out the garage door. Ho-hum. In an act of desperation, her mother, the formidable Publishing queen, sends her daughter to live with her grandmother – a sex potion making old woman who raises geese and lives without the comforts of electricity and running water. Add in a pretty boy neighbor who has more muscle and sex appeal than anyone else Becca has ever met and she is flopping like a fish out of water.

Of course, there is romance. And the occasional gurgle of laughter as Becca learns to muck the stalls and feed the geese without getting her butt nipped at every step. There is the charming and present Nicodemus, the storyteller, and there is an interlude between Grandma and her feather duster wielding friend.  And of course, as in all fairy tales, there is a happily ever after, though not always the one we might expect.

Story finished.  Moving onto the marketing. Blog entry. Check. Facebook Post. Check. Tweet. Check. Trailer? Working on it. What’s left? Doing it all again tomorrow and every day after until I am fabulously rich and famous. Turns out, writing the story was the easy part.